


A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Revolution

by Wiggle



Series: Stuckony Stocking Fills 2020 [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Kings and concubines and assassins oh my!, M/M, Multi, also no dubious consent, fake concubines?, no actual virginity kink, or assassinations for that matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26656984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiggle/pseuds/Wiggle
Summary: Bucky and Steve have a job to do. Too bad their tyrant's in another castle.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Stuckony Stocking Fills 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939567
Comments: 21
Kudos: 76
Collections: Stuckony Summer Stocking 2020





	A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Revolution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FestiveFerret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [FestiveFerret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret) in the [stuckony_summer_stocking_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stuckony_summer_stocking_2020) collection. 



> I went off book for tor Ferret's prompt: One is An Important Person (p much any style of AU works. important alpha? king? anything!) and is arranged to marry the other two at the same time for political reasons. At first, the two are wary and jealous of each other but they soon team up to take care of each other. Then it turns out the man they've been assigned to marry is wonderful and lovable too, and not as scary as they originally thought.
> 
> Hope you like it! <333

Scraps of silk shivered around Steve’s sparsely clad form as he stalked through the palace ahead of Bucky, his sandals slamming into the marble instead of whispering like they were supposed to. The guards on either side of the hall would have had trouble out-stomping him despite their heavy boots outweighing the golden clasps and gilded leather adorning his feet.

“You are terrible at this,” Bucky called. 

The guards didn’t react, but they were listening. Of all the secrets Bucky and Steve would have to keep in the Stark palace this wasn’t one of them. It might have been worth trying if Steve wasn’t so terribly unfit for that part of their charade.

Falsely gracious, Steve paused, allowing Bucky to catch up. The guards pacing him glanced at each other. Nothing to be concerned over, they were probably grateful they wouldn’t have to tear after a rogue concubine.

When they drew level, Steve gestured to the star on his exposed chest like that would explain everything. Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t give me that shit, you weren’t out of your first decade before the army hustled you out.” 

“They regretted it,” Steve said. His tone was even, but a sour little twist pulled at his lips.

Bucky jostled Steve’s shoulder with his own. “Yeah, they did,” he said softly. 

Born with a star on his chest, Steve was destined to be a warrior, to fight for and defend his people. Only he’d also been born too short to join the shield line and too sickly to sit a horse. At nine the army was done with him, but his slight frame and arresting blue eyes had been perfect for work in Bucky’s field. The star peeking out of the wisps of silk on his left shoulder promised him to a different sort of service

It was only after Bucky had taken Steve in that the army came crawling back.They wouldn’t have if the consistent meals and medicine hadn’t doubled the width of Steve’s shoulders and raised him a head above Bucky. 

Steve bumped back. “I am terrible at this.”

Bucky laughed and the guards shifted to side-eye him. He winked.

Encouraging his own silks to sway, Bucky floated forward. The great doors to the throne room approached and on the other side their introduction to the king. 

~~

The king was younger than they’d been told to expect—more attractive, less bald. And there was no harem sighing around his ankles for Steve and Bucky to get lost in. Something was wrong.

“You’re good at this.” King Stark addressed Bucky from the throne. It was the first thing he’d said since they’d been introduced. 

Bucky grinned wide and met his target’s eyes. Had the king received word of his conversation with Steve without him noticing? There was no way to answer that now and after a moment of showing his spark, Bucky demurred, casting his eyes down and to the side, angling his hips just so. 

“Very good,” the king continued, eyes lingering everywhere they were supposed to. He turned his attention to Steve. “What’s with him?”

Steve’s features were stiff, his mouth a tight, unhappy line. 

He was _terrible_ at this. 

Bucky couldn’t apologize to Steve while Stark watched, but he knew why they were here. He’d understand. “They said you like to be challenged. Steve was born a warrior, he comes with a little more—fight.” Stark looked bored. Worse, he looked skeptical. “He’s also,” Bucky said, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder, stretching out the lines of his own body in a languid sprawl, forcing Steve’s muscles to tense to support his extra weight. “A virgin.”

Stark’s eyebrows rose. They had his attention now. “And you?”

Bucky shrugged, he could feel the heat of Steve’s blush against his cheek. “Maybe you’d rather have a good time.”

“Oil!” Stark called. Pointing at Bucky he ordered, “You, prep him. Everyone else get out.”

Oil was set in front of him. The room emptied out. And then Bucky and Steve and the king were alone. Steve didn’t need Bucky’s weight to make him tense now.

This was supposed to happen, but this was too fast. Something was off.

Stark dropped a grape in his mouth and threw his legs over the arm of the throne. With a flick of his wrist he gestured for them to get on with it. Were they really alone? Bucky ran his hand down Steve’s arm, and like the good virgin he was, Steve jumped. Bucky shouldn’t draw this out, he should kill Stark now, but something was very wrong. Making a show of it, he traced across Steve’s exposed chest, outlining his star. 

“What do the stars mean?” Stark’s voice cracked through the silence. Years of training, of always anticipating eyes on him, kept Bucky from visibly startling. 

“They tell our fates.” Bucky answered, that was public knowledge even beyond their borders.

“And what do the fates have in store for my new concubines?”

A muscle jumped in Steve's jaw. “It doesn’t work like that.”

Bucky cut in, brushing his shoulder against Steve’s again. “Mine made me a concubine, Stevie’s made him a virgin.” 

“Stevie huh? Thought he was a warrior. How did he end up sacrificed to a foreign king?”

Bucky dipped his fingers into the oil, angling them to catch the light. This was supposed to happen. They’d planned for these questions. Bucky’s superiors had been clear, but now that the moment was upon him, all their reasonings seemed flimsy, transparent. Needing something else for Stark to focus on, Bucky splayed his oily fingers for Steve. He knew what was coming, that Bucky would be gentle.

“He can speak for himself,” Steve said.

Stark paused and pulled his legs from the arm of the throne. Resettling himself properly a hard smirk tilted his lips. 

“Now we’re getting somewhere. It’s good to know your mouth can be put to a use that isn’t the grinding of teeth. I’ve bits I’d rather not lose in there.” Stark waved his arms to encompass the throne room. “You have my undivided attention.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed. It was the look he got when he thought he was being mocked. 

“Relax,” Bucky breathed into his ear. What had happened? The king was supposed to be simple, manipulatable, someone who liked to crush people beneath him. Steve wasn’t ready for someone like Stark pushing all his buttons. He was too tense for both the conversation and what Bucky was about to do. 

Steve leaned into him.

“That’s sweet,” Stark said, sounding almost cranky. “Are you sure he’s a virgin? Sounds more like a miracle. A warrior. No a concubine. No a _virgin_ concubine. Spare me. He’s the bait and you’re the assassin. Let me give you some royal advice. The next time your people try to have me murdered, you’re more my type. Slinky and full of fire beats rigid and glowering any day.”

Bucky froze, Steve was too taut to tense any further.

Stark sighed and foolishly pressed his fingers into his eyes. Bucky could kill him now. Too lightly clad for knives, he could still garrot with his silks or bludgeon Stark with the pot of oil. “How about you explain to me why I’m being assassinated and we can send you on your way?”

Steve didn’t hesitate. He grabbed the pot of oil. “Last month a border town was ransacked. Thirteen people died and six children were taken. Your soldiers are careless. We found your weapons, Stark, and this wasn’t the first time.”

Beneath his crown, Stark's face collapsed, his skin grew pale and his lips pressed together tight and bloodless. “Stane.” He turned a sickly smile on Steve. “Fair enough. I'm at fault.”

Now Steve did hesitate.

“Whoa, no, don’t let me slow you down. These aren’t the first lives staining my hands by proxy.” 

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked. Some of his targets liked to confess their sins before they died. Sometimes the information he brought back was valuable.

“I’ve held the throne for three months. It took me seven years to claim it from the steward my father appointed.” He looked down at his hands. “To want to claim it.”

Steve took a step forward and Stark returned his attention to them. “I was a child when my father died, but I grew up blind to my steward’s failings. My failings. The crimes of the throne are mine. I will stop Stane, but I would understand if you feel the need to kill me for my tardiness in doing so.”

Steve thumbed his impromptu weapon, his weight shifting into his toes. 

“Or,” Stark offered into the silence. “Since you seem to be having second thoughts. You can help me. Keep your positions. No one will touch you. And as a show of good faith, I’ll bring you with me to the war room. We can put my wastrel reputation to use.”

Every rigid inch of Steve suggested he would throw Stark’s offer back at him. But this was their best chance. Bucky had played pet before, for worse reasons, and—he dragged his eyes over _Tony_ , no longer evaluating a target but a potential ally—less interesting masters. He kicked Steve's ankle.

“You’ll help us,” Steve said and it wasn’t a question.

“Done,” Tony said, sweeping from the throne. He beckoned them to a hidden alcove with a small door. “There’s just one problem. My rooms are well appointed, you’ll be kept in comfort, but there’s only one bed.”

Bucky stepped on Steve’s foot. “Done.”

**Author's Note:**

> And then like 20k of Steve and Tony butting heads and falling in love with each other and Bucky. Scatter in some plot, secret keeping and Steve upstaging Tony's generals, with just a pinch of misunderstandings and shenanigans.
> 
> Oops
> 
> Thank youuu MarvelousMenagerie for your amazing beta help <33333 You make everything better


End file.
